I bought a really beautiful pack of Bicycle playing cards. The quality of these U.S made cards is brilliant.
The only copy change I want make is this last line next to the diamond:
As a customer who just bought this pack of cards, the first three lines get me interested about following Bicycle on social media but the last line feels like a dud. A bit “meh”, like the copywriter didn’t know what else to say to me.
In its place another practical instruction could be thought up:
- Tell us designs you’d like to see
- Post your best wins
Or even if management or some busy body says that we cannot give any more instructions because they are not things we can dedicate time to responding to, a simple:
- Become part of the community
Would suffice to achieve the effect of having communicated one last important thing in the mind of this customer.
By the way, I’m the King of Hearts if you were wondering.
Although at this stage in my career I’m probably still the cheeky Jack.